GODNIETERNITY

I could smell the rain
as she came to her senses
i extended parts of self to her-self
grateful we were
time still & moments of eternity entered
by entities formally known as her and i
no longer separated as us
intertwine like earth & dust
beings just being
doing heavenly things
most people don't even get to experience in their dreams
silent kisses and loud hugs
60 seconds turned into 60 minutes
that morphed into 60 days
tripped into 60 weeks
months and cross over into 60 years
all in 60 seconds
this moment has taken a life of it's own
authentic and soul-grown
there's no place like this
to hell with being home
a new moment is born to an old sun
and an older moon
eclipsed by stars imploding and exploding
on to one's self
or one self
as two energies arrive at nothing
or no-thing else but tongues touching
on a journey of remembrance
questioning reflection of water falling to my tongue
i am reminded
as she smile shaking her life upon me with open arms
and legs
i am convinced
that God is a black woman
and I must return through her to get to my life source

Gone in 60 seconds

center stage of me
on the face of he
she sits
the moment is emphasized
to our surprise
Jah tears are translated into rain
a love lost purposefully in translation
as aged grapes take part in the ceremony
elevated thoughts
and thought thinks as he speaks
authentic liquids from her eden
fulfilling mystery has me sleeping
between now & nowhere
sacred moans and meditative prayers
she scream bed creams into existence
as i day dream flash backs of her bent back
forward thrust
trust
this is going to be 60 seconds of
love
lust
desire
trust
needs
late night wants
come back please
thoughts of meeeezzzz
by sheeezzz
and weeeeezzzz
having a in depth conversation with Jah
about her being
and my being hungry for her
longing for her
crying for a place in zion for us
60 seconds has never been as long as this is
what this is is
60 moments calculated with precision
Jah's intuition
of a man chasing an angel's vision
of a sunset pyramid angle to a perfect waterfall
and he laid there kissing her lips long
45 seconds she's twitching
jerking her hips and leaking life
on the face of him
she clench tightly
embracing him
thunder storms strong
as if her and nature were heavenly in tune
I wish i could tell you more but
in 60 seconds i was gone

A Grandmother's Prayer

Another black son is gone

Another mother mourns the life of her prince

Tears are born and the candles are lit

Distant prayers and a silent wish

Asking God and his angels to protect a grandmother's gift

Hearts are torn and in our chest pain exist

God there has to be a place better than this

Where the laws are JUST and our babies are protected

It feels as if no one is safe anymore

No LOVE in the heart of this city

Just unjustified war

Criminals of all kind thinking that they are above the law

Cops killing children

There's no wonder that the youth don't respect the law

My hands are getting tired and my knees are sore

Please protect my grandchildren

I can't do this much more

You borrowed this one but let the rest be due to natural cause

At times I just wanna holler and scream

My grandchild is gone

He will never get to hear about his daughter's dreams

You told me to never wish ill-will on anyone

But how would you feel if the police took out your grandson

This is a grandmother plea

A cry

A call for help

I need you God

I can't do this by myself

I'm given this all to you

My pain in layers

As I count my blessings and hold my grand-babies close

In this grandmother's prayer

A BREATH OF NEW LIFE

To kiss her would be slavery
With just a touch of her lips will take over me
I'm contemplating giving it all to she
Just a moment in time this time
Is how she broke it down for me
I'm strong and sure of self
But scared of she
He who is me be
So kiss her
Maybe
But look at her gaze at me
As if I left her in our last galaxy
Now she's back to claim me
Cleanse and rename me
This gotta be
A dream see
I went to sleep 28 years ago
And now I find me shaking self
To wake up to confront life again
She stands center of two unbearable beams of ligth
What are her intentions
Is what I ask myself
Seeelllllllffffffffff!!!!!
She's coming closer
Wet from traveling
Now I'm babbling
Staggering and stuttering
God I give in
That's when
Her body fell upon mine
And she asked what was wrong
Like a breath of new life
Gentle and polite
I kissed her & said
I agree you're right...


To be continued... ET. 09.

AMERICA

THE SUN IS CLIMBING ON THE BACK OF THE SON
AS HE STATES HIS CLAIM TO LIFE
UNDER THE IDEAL OF FREEDOM JUSTICE AND EQUALITY
PUZZLED BECAUSE OF THE TROUBLES THAT FOLLOWS HE
USE TO BELIEVE IN HER
DEFENDED HER
WORKED FOR HER
WAS LOYAL TO HER
CARRIED HER IDEALS
DID TIME FOR HER
OR SO HE THOUGHT
UNTIL ONE RECORD BREAKING WINTER
SHE DIDN'T SHOW AND PROVE HERSELF TRUE
WHO KNEW
SHE WOULD LEAVE HIM AND HIS 6 SIBLINGS ALONE WITHOUT HEAT
OR FOOD
YOUNG AND NAIVE TO HER WAYS
HE THOUGHT HE WAS A FREE CITIZEN
CLEARLY HEIS ACTIONS WERE THOSE OF SLAVES
BRAVE SOUL
BRAVE CHILD OF THE SUN
I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN
STARING DOWN THE BARRLE OF HER GUN
LOADING DECEIVING BULLETS TO PIERCE YOUR PERCEPTION
ELIMINATING YOUR AUTHENTIC THOUGHTS
IMPLANTING HER WORLD VIEW MARINATED IN HER HOUSE OF CORRECTION
WITH HER FINGER GRASPING A RED WHITE & BLUE TRIGGER
SCREAMING "NIGGER" AS IF SUCH WAS YOUR NAME
PRINCE OF A LAND FOREIGN TO THE NATIVE
CONTINUE TO BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE AND HOLD YOUR HEAD
DESPITE YOUR STRUGGLE
YOU ARE THE GREATEST
KEEP GOD IN SIDE
THE WORLD KNOWS SHE'S A RACIST


-TROUBLEDSON-ET.10.

SMILE AT THE WORLD

BEAUTIFUL WORDS
ACROSS HER BEAUTIFUL BODY
REFLECTING LIFE'S DREAMS
ON HER TONGUE'S PLEASURES
LIPS AND EYES
MATCHED HER PRIDE
FOR HER TIME
THE HEAVEN'S AND EARTH
OFTEN COLLIDE

-SMILE AT THE WORLD AND SHE SHALL SMILE IN RETURN-ET.10.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

INHALE
BREATHE
A TEAR IS BORN
LIFE IS RELEASED
THE SLUM'S CHILDREN ARE BRILLIANT
LOOKED OVER
SO DYING
CRYING NO MORE
HUNGER INTERVENES
TEARS REPLACED
LATE NIGHT SCREAMS
FACE 2 FACE
WAR
HAVE YOU EVER MET A KID
WHO NEVER MET A TOY
EXHALE
DEEP BREATHS
REST
GREAT PAINS IN CHEST
10 YEARS OLD
PISTOL
BULLET PROF VEST
LIFE HAS BECOME
SUSPECT
THIS CAN'T BE NORMAL
YET CONDONE
CALLING ON ET TO GET BACK HOME
YOUNGIN DROPPED OUT
STILL CAN SEE THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG
POPS WENT TO THE STORE 10 YEARS AGO
NEVER MADE IT BACK HOME
YEAH HE DROPPED OUT
BUT STUPID IS WHAT HE'S NOT ON
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF YOU LOST YOUR POP
TO THE COPS
AND YOUR MOM WAS GONE

-JUST SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT-ET.10

LISTEN TO YOU

IT'S BEEN A WHILE
STILL BEAUTIFUL I SEE
HOW'S LIFE
OH OKAY
(((SMILE)))
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME
YOU KNOW
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I CAN DO AND SAY ANYTHING AROUND YOU
LET MY INNER CHILD SHINE IN YOUR PRESENCE
WITHOUT QUESTIONS OR INTERRUPTIONS
AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT
I KNOW I KNOW
I'M SAYING IT AS A REMINDER
BECAUSE THE WORLD IS A CRUDE PLACE AT TIMES
OKAAAAAY WELL NOT THE WORLD BUT PEOPLE IN IT
SO I JUST HAVE TO REMIND YOU OF MY LOVE AND RESPECT FOR YOU
(((TEARS)))
YOU OKAY
I AM
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME
WELL I SEE WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON
WHAT'S THAT
WE DO SOMETHING TO EACH OTHER
(((LAUGH)))
I AGREE
SO WHERE ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY TO
TO DO A VIDEO SHOOT
OH GET OUTTA HERE
WHAT
I'M ON MY WAY TO DO A VIDEO SHOOT AS WELL
NO DOUBT
WELL ENJOY YOURSELF ETERNAL
YOU TOO THOUGHT-

-NOBODY WILL LISTEN TO YOU LIKE YOU. RESPECT! ET.10.

 

 

NEVER SPEAK IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY

This morning I woke up with you in mind and my heart felt warm. I miss you and mommy beyond my gift to craft nice words. Simply put lil brother the pain never really leave ((((crying)))) not a year long since you made your journey. I know you know already but I put you in my children's book series. Your Ade's close friend. I hope you don't mind that I made you a kid again :( ... I will give you life the way I know how lil brother. I love you beyond 4ever whatever that means on earth.

(taps me on my shoulder and I turn around)

what the phuk... who's there?
(snickering) muck.
kendall, is that you bro?
why do you seem shaken, you just called on me.
(smiling still looking around the room to see him) where are you?
right here.
where?
stop looking for me. be still and see me.
coo... i miss you. we miss you.
i know. i'm still there just in a different form.
i know.
i know you know that's why i'm reminding you.
(Smiling) you right.
i wanted to let everyone else know that i was still here but God said they weren't ready for that.
why not?
they still took it hard.
so did i ken.
but you have to understand that you had different experiences that made this so much easier for me.
what do you mean?
remember when you were 17, and what you went through with...
okay bro, i got you.
troubledson right...
(((((crying)))))) sometime i still fill like thats where i am bro. this is hard being the oldest brother.
i never new what you were going through muck, until now.
the pressure sometimes keep me from going around there...
i know. i can see it all from here- just to let you know you're doing a great job.
it doesn't always feel that way.
((((crying))))
kendall, you crying?
((((sniffing))))
ken...
i'm here. it's still hard for me too big bro. i don't want to come back but i don't want y'alll to be there.
((((crying))))
((((crying))))
look at me... a mess. (smiling)
(smiling) you too? (smiling)
i feel better after this talk bro.
me too muck, i'm always here.
i know.
just keep doing what you know to do.
how's mommy?
she's okay.
:)
she cried when see saw me. she still be kissing all over me. i think she be kissing me for all of us.
cool- tell her...
she already know muck. it's funny how strong of a connection remains even in the breath in death.
i don't know what else to say.
how about ... talk to you later, or i love you. (laughing)
cool.
well...
i love you kendall.
i love you to muck.
muck, never speak if there's nothing to say. silence is okay bro.

It's Been A While

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME FIND WORDS
TEDDY BEARS ARE MEANINGLESS
LITTLE TRINKETS WITH WORDS
DON'T SPELL IT OUT FOR HER
EXPLANATIONS WITH SMILES
ROSES FOR MILES
TO GIVE HER THE SUN
WINGS AND A DINNER ON THE MOON
WITH GOD SINGING HER FAVORITE SONG
AS THE ANGELS HARMONIZE THE SAME TUNE
ANTS BUILDING HILLS
THE SKY OPENING AND RAIN FALLING ON HER
AND HER ALONE
TALKING TO HER FAVORITE ACTOR/ACTRESS OVER THE PHONE
WITH HER LOVER GIVING HER A BODY MESSAGE
AND ALL HER CHILDREN SAYING
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
JUST WON'T BE ENOUGH
OR BE EQUIVALENT
TO GIVING BIRTH TO 10 CHILDREN
REACHING THE APEX OF LIFE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM
CRYING
HURTING
WORRYING
LOVING
GIVING
BUILDING
BEARING
LENDING
TEACHING
PREACHER
WORKING HARD
DYING HARDER
JUST TO GIVE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS LIFE
SINCE I CANNOT FIND THE WORDS IN THIS PHYSICAL REALM
I WILL CONTINUE TO WORK HARD
AND REMAIN SILENT FROM 7PM TO 7AM

CONTINUE TO LIVE IN PEACE MOM. YOUR OLDEST SON MISSES YOU.
ET.10.

:(...

THEY KILLED HIM
THEY DIDN'T ASK HIS NAME
THEY JUST PULLED THEIR GUNS
AND AIMED
THEY KILLED HIM
THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIS MOM
OR ME
THEY LET BULLETS FLY
TWO BULLETS WAS ALL IT TOOK
NOW LOOK
I'M WITHOUT A LIL BROTHER
AND HE WITHOUT HIS BODY
AND I PRAY THAT GOD GOT ME
BECAUSE ((((((((((((((((CRYING)))))))))))))
THIS FEELING IS KILLING ME
WHERE IS HE
WHO KILLED MY LIL BROTHER ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SPRING NIGHT
POSITIVE ENERGY IS PASSING ME
AND MY DEMONS ARE RESURFICING
I NEED HELP
I NEED LOVE
I NEED MY MOTHER
I NEED MY LIL BROTHER
THEY KILLED HIM ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SPRING NIGHT-

((((((((((((((((((((((CRYING)))))))))))))))))))))))))

ET.10.

A MOMENT

MISSING HER BEYOND SOUND
SAVING SELF WITH SONGS SUNG BY MEMORY
WISHING WINDS PICK UP AND BRING HER TO ME
TO NOW
TO WHERE I AM
TO THIS DISTRICT
WITH HER LIPS GLOSSED WITH
LOVE'S KISS OF ETERNITY
BATHE IN BEAUTY KNOWN NOT TO NOW
SO PROFOUND
YEARS HIDDEN IN DIRT KNOWN AS EARTH
IS WHERE WE FOUND
THE LIGHT OF DAY
SHE WAS GETTING HER SHINE ON
AS I WAS GETTING MY CRY ON
WHY ON
SO SHE WOULD BE ABLE TO BREAK THROUGH
AND GROW ON
SO FORMED
SHE DID
IN THE HEART OF ME
ILLUMINATED THE DARK IN ME
RADIANT SHE BE
ANGELIC & MUSICALLY INCLINED
WHISPERING MOMENTS FINGERIN' MY MIND
I WANT TO MAKE LIFE TO HER ON OUR BED OF TIME
WHERE DIVINE DENTS & CRACKED HEADBOARDS
TELL STORIES OF MID-DAY SCREAMS & WET-DAY-DREAMS
WINDOWS HALF WAY OPEN WITH COLTRANE PLAYING
HEARTS THUMPS & STAFF MEETING OVALS AT THE BASE OF LIFE
LIVING NOW
WISHING NOW
PRAYING NOW
SINGING NOW
SCREAMING NOW
CRYING NOW
SCRATCHING NOW
PULLING NOW
SMILING NOW
WANTING NOW
TALKING SHIT NOW
UNTIL NOW BECOMES
HER BODY OPENING UP AND BREATHING
LIFE IN THIS ATMOSPHERE
TAKE ME THERE
DARE ME
I DARE YOU
IT IS TRUE
I DARE YOU TO REPEAT
THAT INNOCENT KISS TO THE NECK OF ME
RELAX
TONIGHT YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET WET FOR ME
JUST HOLD ME
IN THIS MOMENT TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME

-:) WHAT DO YOU THINK? ET.10.LOVEISMYKEY2LIFE.

BLACK ANGELS

A PERFECT IMPERFECTION
BLACK ANGEL
YOU ARE A BLESSIN'
THE ANSWER TO MANY QUESTION
& YOUR ESSENCE
IS THE SMELL OF YOU
BLACK HEAVEN
MUST HAVE PERSONALLY PAMPERED YOU
TIME SPENT WITH YOU
IS IMMEASURABLE
YOU ARE CLEVER & INSPIRING TOO
LOVE IS THE FOUNDATION
OF YOUR SMILE
YOUR EYES LIKE STARS SHOOTING BYE
AS YOU GO
I WONDER WHY
NOT I
& EYES SLIGHTLY GRAZE THE SKY
MOTIVATED BY MY PRESENCE
TO SHINE & FLY WITHOUT END
BLACK ANGEL YOU'RE HEAVEN SENT
SINCERELY YOUR
LOVER & FRIEND


-WISH YOU WASN'T AS FAR FROM NOW AS YOU ARE. HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO SAY WHAT YOU DIDN'T SAY UNTIL THE PERSON YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID IT TO WAS IN THE DISTANT OR EVEN GONE BEYOND TOUCH????- ET.10.LOVEISMYKEY2LIFE

WHO IS SHE

She's dream desire
and man's higher self
immaculate like a misunderstood conception
a blessin' and a question when expressed to much
we yarn for the touch of her
the lips of her
the hips of her
the breast of her
the ass of her
the center of her
ironically
we laugh at her
not overstanding the life of her
she is the life of us
the death
worse and best of us
the many prayers from us
and the meditations to us
the epitome of space and time
the reason for memory
the beginning and ending of the universe
yet we curse her
beings that are sometimes unworthy of her
and she still without doubt or questions
love us
we left her and blamed her for leaving us
we fuss with her and she just cry silently
waiting and wanting
but staying authentic in her word and ways
slaves and masters
she made us
gave us
all we would need to feed the whole of us
yet we starve in search of us
not knowing
it's her
that should be found in us
bringing heaven through us
the rain is falling
she's crying reflecting on when we
truly knew us
respected us
loved us
trusted us
was faithful to us
believed in us
moved for the good of and in us
when we counted on us to help us
now i cry for the collective us
who lost us in a bad relationship with the lower parts of us-

LOVE ON A BLUE NOTE

 EGYPTIAN BLUE LOTUS
TAKE THIS AS A TOKEN OF YOUR BEAUTY
IN MY MEDITATIVE STANCE CHANLING DJEHUTI
YOUR LOVE IS ANCIENT AND FUTURISTIC
ALL AT THE SAME TIME
REFLECTIONS OF MAAT YOUR WALK IS DIVINE
SUPREME IN SPEECH
WISDOM SHOW IT-SELF WHEN YOU TEACH
SIT DOWN BEFORE THE NILE
LET ME RELEASE THE PRESSURE FROM YOUR FEET
OSHUN IN THESE STREETS
MOODY IN YOUR MOMENTS
FROM ANGELIC TO SLAYING BEAST
YOU ARE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
LOVER
MOTHER
SISTER
AUNTIE
COUSIN
DAUGHTER
NIECE
ELDER
WOMAN
AND BABY GIRL
I'M PLEASURED BY THE SILENCE OF YOU
THE LIPS
EYES
TITS
ASS
HIPS OF YOU
BEYOND BRILLIANT AND HUMBLE IS THE WAY OF YOU
I'M WILLING TO SACRIFICE SELF
JUST TO BREATHE WITH YOU
YOU ARE LIFE&DEATH CONJOINED AT THE ROOTS
BLOODY LIKE BILLY'S FRUITS
AND CLEAN AS GOD TOO
SO WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THOUGHT
BE TRUE

------I'M BACK!!!!!!!----THOUGHTS?????

YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME

YEEEEEEES!!! I've had it with you lazy good for nothing selfish pricks

I AM being abused
Used
And I AM very confused
I'm on my death bed crying storms into existence
I'm hurting like hell---if hell hurts
I'm being neglected for some shit I didn't even do
All because of some selfish human beings
I'm drowning in hate
These suicidal thoughts won't escape my dreams
On the devil's back driving the highway to heaven and I'm mad
The sad thing is that you think it's all good
BUT IT'S NOT!!!!
Killing in my name doesn't sound so bad after all
I'm depressed and stressed
I've been crying all night and I'm unable to stay awake in class since you fall so easily
I refuse to wait around for someone to fall into me again
Then break up and spread nasty childish rumors on me
I'm lonely
Don't nobody really know me
The next time you humans decide to break up and blame me for the break up
or
Someone ask you about me
(((crying)))
You can NOW say with my permission
LOVE HURT LIKE HELL!!!
((((just wanting to recognized as IT IS))))
because i do

----------------I wrote this for all who say love hurts and find themselves not LOVING again for years to come because they don't want to take the chance of getting hurt as if LOVE did it. I just want to BE- and not be lied on and talked about in a negative way. I often ask self if anyone ever took the time to ask LOVE if it was okay after y'all (people) abused me during y'all physical interactions with those y'all say y'all LOVE---------This is the REAL LOVE LETTER-ETERNAL THOUGHT

VISIONS OF A SUNSET

:) GOOD MORNING MY HIGH YELLOW SUNSHINE
I LOVE THE WAY YOU RISE & SET ON CREATION
I MISSED YOU LAST NIGHT AFTER SWITCHING SHIFTS WITH THE MOON
SO I WENT TO SLEEP DREAMING OF YOUR COMING
VISIONS OF A HIGH LIT SUNSHINE
AND TO MY PLEASURE
HERE YOU ARE AGAIN ON TIME
I'M BLESSED TO HAVE YOUR SUPPORT IN THIS DAY & TIME
YOUR BEAUTY SHINES ON THE WORLD
BUT IF FEEL LIKE YOUR MINE
ETERNAL TAN ON
I WEAR YOU BRAND BORN
THROUGH STRUGGLE AND TROUBLE
LET'S GET OUR DANCE ON
YOU MAKE ME VIBRATE HIGH
FIRE I DESIRE YOU
I CAN SEE HOW MY OUTLOOK ON THE WORLD
CAN INSPIRE YOU
YOUR ENERGY ADDICTIVE
I'M TURNED OUT AND TWITCHIN'
YOU ARE A DRUG UNREALISTIC
OVERSTAND MY SPIRIT
LET'S GET LIFTED
AFTER SO MANY YEARS
STILL HARD TO QUIT IT
MY MELANIN CORRESPONDS WITH YOUR SHINE
OFF WITH THE SHADES
I'M BLIND
THE GREATEST SACRIFICE
FOR YOU TIME
I ENJOY YOU MOST WHEN IT RAIN
THE THUNDER
BRINGS ABOUT JOYS AND PLEASURABLE PAINS